Guest Writer: Joshua P. Smith (Tim is asleep)

Just so we're all clear, this is Josh. I stole Tim's blog while he was asleep.

Actually, he's perfectly alright with this, but I thought that sounded much more dramatic.

To preface a bit, I don't know what I'm going to write here. Probably just a record of thoughts as they fall out of my head, and bear in mind, I have been drinking. A lot of my friends have been blogging recently, some of them are hilarious, some of them are poignant, and some of them are pretentious bullshit. That the problem I've always had with blogging: the fact that one might think,"I am so great and awesome, I'm going to record all my thoughts on the internet so all of my friends and future generations can read them and learn from my wisdom." I just see the whole process as rather self indulgent. I think I'm smarter than everyone else and I have difficulty dissuading myself from the idea that my problems are unique. Ergo, I'm pretty sure if I wrote down all the thoughts I had late at night in front of my computer in between World of Warcraft sessions, I'd either come off as pathetic and whiny or an arrogant prick. Also, I like some of my thoughts to be private. There are a lot of things that I don't like about myself, a lot of thoughts I have had that I am not proud of. I often have undesirable impulses, and not necessarily terrible shit like murdering someone, just feeling shit that pisses me off. I have no desire to put the deepest darkest part of myself up on the internet for everyone (or no one) to read. That's why that is the deepest and darkest part of me.

I guess sometimes it just helps to vent. To expunge the negative from ones consciousness. To see our thoughts and feelings written out, given a physical form as it were, helps. That the process is really about indulging the self: that you don't do this so others can read, but so you can. But it seems to me that self discovery is tarnished in some way if you do it in front of a thousand of your closest friends. But such are the times I guess. The world is our village now and it's easier than ever to grab that 15 minutes of fame. Everybody's putting their souls on display so we think that's where they go.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. It's late and my glass is almost empty, and I'm trying way to hard to work through my problems without dealing with them. So goodnight bloggites and bloggettes. Maybe next time, I'll know where I'm going before I get there.